Reflections on 2010

31 12 2010

Just feeling compelled this year to make some note of what I’ve been going through this past year.

I have been challenged both spiritually and physically this year. Having my faith tested and forged in discussions with people who once had a Christian background and now say that my god doesn’t exist.

I have had health problems that made me start to take over the counter heart burn medicine. I nearly got fired from my job, but thanks to a good system I’m able to still work.

I had my personal authority tested by students who didn’t think I would follow through on my word. And I didn’t like to do it at all. But the kids are acting differently towards those in authority roles. Understanding who is in charge of them when they are in school.

I’ve come to understand that because of my faith in Christ, that I now am NOT in control of my life. This is very counter cultural to the views of most Americans.

As I watched the countdowns of the big news items this year, I can see that no matter what goes on, most people still have not understood why we are in so much of a mess and why the policies of the US government and our individualized faiths have messed up the world.

Yes, I’m being very judgmental. That is what I have been taught to do. But I’m more judgmental about myself. I have not been part of the solution, but part of the problem.

This past year has made me grow closer to my loving Father. There have been times that I didn’t listen to what was going on inside of me or what He asked me to do through my fellow Christians. I feel that this coming year I will be asked to do what will seem impossible for me to do alone.

I have found a spiritual home with the Evergreen Community in Portland. I hope to build some new friendships there. From the first worship that we attended, I felt like the prodigal son coming home. It’s where I need to be. Though we have taken the past two weeks for blood family things, I’m looking forward to becoming more a part of Evergreen.

There seems to be a lack of love in the world again. My prayer is for more love and less cynicism. That I really can be a representative of the City of God, and not of the fundamentalist false city of evil.

I will make some goals that I hope will bless someone who is hurting and needs love. At least goals are something to shoot for. Will take some time and pray about those goals. What to do and turn to My Lord for the guidance.



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