Sick Days and The World

1 03 2010

Since it’s been just a little over a year and a half that I began working as a school bus driver, I’ve never missed a day of regular work.  But today, I have to because my youngest daughter was throwing up during the night and my wife has taken too many sick days off and she has to be at her school for testing.

She can’t get out of this and I feel a bit selfish wanting her to stay home so I can go drive. There are cover drivers at work, and I followed procedures by calling in last night and there’s been no call from work this morning so I’ve done good.  But I still am having some second thoughts about HOW this system that I’ve been born into has screwed up everything.

Growing up in a “male dominated” world, I was rasied to be the MAN!  Provide the income and save the family.  Boy what an illusion that has been.

When I first got married and we had our first born girl, I ended up being the stay at home dad.  It was an incredible experience and every man who thinks that keeping house and taking care of the kids is woman’s work are misinformed.

I enjoyed every bit of it, well except most of the time, because I was fighting an internal battle for my soul!    Growing up in the 1980’s much of what was being taught conflicted in what was happening in families.  More people were deciding that the individual was more important than working for the common good.  More people felt that they deserved to have everything NOW and not save up some equity for the future.  I grew up with great guilt because of my parent’s divorce and my attempt to “prove” that I could take care of my grandma, since my folks had been in HER house instead of going out and getting a place of their own.

I was taught that you need to take care of your family, all ages, no matter what.  You can’t just do what ever you want!  But go and do what you want just as long as it doesn’t split up your family, because….wait for it ….”Family always comes FIRST”!

But when you never see signs of love from your parents, when you never hear the words “I love you” from your Dad, when you are told that you are responsible for your family, you loose all identity on who you THINK you are supposed to be.

So what does this have to do with staying home today?  I can’t provide money for the family if I don’t work !  But my wife is bringing in some money so it’s MY turn to play nurse.  As a MAN that is not what you are supposed to do!  At least that is what I was raised to believe, and I know this is NOT true!

A  real male of humanity has compassion, and doesn’t lord it over his wife that he is male.  And in God’s presence, there is no difference between male and female. Men can provide the same comfort and be kind, loving, gentile, all that good stuff.

The mixed messages that come from a consumerist male dominated culture make living life miserable.

I’ve been reading Frank Schaiffer’s  book (rather a rant in book form) called “Patience With God”.   A man who grew up in an evangelical/fundamentalist family.  I find that I agree with most of his rant and perhaps this book is something that all of us that used to believe  in the “church” as the solution to the current culture should read.

Frank goes on on how WRONG the New Atheists and the Religious Right, which he used to be a part of, are.  I’ve come to understand that NONE, no not ONE of us gets things absolutely correct!

The male dominance of the world is WRONG, the over consumerism is WRONG!  Thinking that MEN will save the world from it’s ways is WRONG!

In this guy’s  humble opinion, there is a better way than our little perceptions,  but it’s gonna take unlearning what we have learned and find NEW wisdom from the past.  From where ever we see God, Allah, the Creator of the Universe, that common good wisdom that has been hidden from sight and put in our hearts.



One response

1 03 2010
Gary Walter

You’re asking the right questions. Keep on the journey and don’t lose your courage.

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