Happy Holy Day!

The Spooky things are coming up to the door like mad this year.  And I start to realize that the silly season is upon us again.   And I just ran out of candy at 7:15pm so  the Jack-O-Lantern as been put out.

Halloween marks the beginning of the “end of the year” so to speak.  Christians are getting ready to “do nothing” while they await the  birth of Christ, yet again.   The movie theaters will be showing yet another version of the Dickens classic and the stores will be wanting to put fear in you that you don’t have the right gift for that person at work or at home.

Halloween really is a scary time of year then, especially since the stores have Christmas items already up, fake trees ready to buy and I’ll bet that come Monday morning the radio stations will start the Christmas music.  This is what makes me scared.  Putting a price and marketing scheme and saying that it is all about Jesus.

Yet, the more I explore about the beginnings of the religion known as Christianity, the more I hope that Jesus is not forgotten in this mess.    The masses think that getting presents is what a holiday is about.

No, it’s about being holy.  We have only so many “holy days” printed on the calendar.  This night sure is  one of them, and it is fun.

I hope is that this year, you don’t blow your money on things that will be forgotten in just a few days.   Realize that God loves you EVERY day, and that every day is a holy day.

Now go eat up those candy corns, Hershey Bars and get that candy hangover started, for tomorrow you will have another day to enjoy the wholeness that is life.

 

 

 

I Wish To Register a Complaint…

There is an institutional church that has a campaign called “ReThink Church”.  And I must complain about this campaign.

One:  This is about 20 years behind the times.

Two:  If all you do is “rethink” your positions, then you will be left behind.

Why can I say this?  Because I was a part of this church.  And I left it behind.

The age of reason caused us to ignore the loving God that walks with us and talks to us.  We traded a book of law over the loving, living Father.   We trust our own actions and not doing what we are told. We love our freedom, but still want to be told what to do.

But what would happen if you started listening to God without the use of a Bible?  Would you abandon the ways that God says HE is done with?  Would you be willing to grow up to be an adult child of God?

It has been my experience that only those that are open to God outside of a tradition of theology that a NEW and BETTER theology can be made by God.

The Past is the Present

A few weeks ago, I was reintroduced to my “old” self.

Kathleen had invited a  couple who was interested in our idea of shared communal living over for dinner.  Turned out that the husband was a guy I knew from my Rocky Horror days.  And is nearly an identical copy of me 10 years ago.

So this post is about my past, how I came back to God, a prequel to the About Me and Following Where Others Have Gone Before pages.   At least this story will be better than most of those prequels that have been out there in the movies.

Set the way back machine for 1998.  My wife had just asked me for a divorce.

I went into deep depression, started doubting that I was even worthy of a job, wife, life ect.   We were living in California at the time, and I only had a few friends from the job that I had.  They had no idea what I was going through or what it was like.

My wife wanted to leave me because I didn’t meet up with her expectations, and I was being abusive, both physically and mentally.  The real scary thing about the abuse, was that I could hit her without bruising her skin.  I could make it hurt and not show a mark.     I was attempting to control her, since I was a nice Christian  boy and had no contact with God at the time,  I was supposed to make sure she submitted to me.

I also was not thinking about her needs.  The first part of our marriage was all about MY happiness no matter what.  We were both very selfish about what we thought marriage was supposed to be.

I had once thought that by being married life would be easier and someone would be there for MY needs.  But I was always trying to please her, even when it was not good for me to do so.   This is part of being a passive/aggressive person.  This is not the way we are meant to be.

But I wouldn’t learn this till years later, when I read Paul Coughlin’s “No More Christian Nice Guy”.

My wife and I filed the divorce papers together, we were very civil about the whole affair. Thanks to Papa God that we never finalized the divorice.

This was the crisis that brought me back to God and the Methodist Church.

Since I had lost what was important to me in my life, my wife, I had nothing left.  So I ran back to God.

I started to learn about Him.

A few months later, my wife calls me and says she had gone back to God too and felt that she was to call me.

We moved back in together, but still had our problems.   I still was abusive to her,  and still was when she became pregnant with our first daughter.   Thank God  He stepped in and brought help through the California State programs.  Through a parent support program ,we had a worker come in from time to time to talk about how things were going between us.  I got into a state funded program on how to deal with depression.

I learned how the cycle of depression works and how to overcome it, but that was just the beginning.

I was able to get help.  I have become a better, no…..a new man, because of learning the way of Jesus.  That the state will not provide, so you have to find someone who has been there before.  For me it meant going to an institutional church, namely the Methodist tradition.  It meant going home in a way.

So why bring up this past?

It is happening again.  Remember that couple that I wrote about at the beginning?   They seem to be my wife and I 10 years ago.  Biggest problem though is that they have two boys, ages 3 and 1.

I wish we had gotten together sooner.  But for reasons beyond my understanding, God chose this to be the time.

I have been helping the husband to understand that he needs to put God first in his life.  Easier said than done, because I’ve been there too.   I feel his pain and suffering, the depression that he’s feeling, and it’s brought my old life back up.

Change is never easy for the human being.  We want comfort, dependability, consistency and safety.  But I have discovered that the past is the present and only can we prevent the past from coming back is to do things different.   The way of Jesus.

My wife thinks I’m becoming too emotionally attached to the family in crisis.   It’s been at least 15 years since I knew the husband.   But I remember having to reach out to someone who was a stranger and most didn’t understand what I was going through.   I know what this guy is going through, and some of what his wife is going through too.

It seems that my past has caught up with me, but has taken on another form, that of another husband in crisis.   All I can do right now is be there as a sounding board.  A glimpse of a possible future for the couple and for the guy.

I’m not using names here because this story is just for you to understand what is happening.

I honestly feel drained a bit, but also feel the presence of God helping me to help the husband.  I want to help the wife too, since I understand what it is like to be a stay at home parent and feel that no one understands what that is like.  Vicious circles.    Wanting to serve others, hiding the fact that I want to do things for myself, take time for my interests but feeling like I can’t do that or else I’ll neglect the family.

So I had tended to be “dedicated” to children and the family, but neglect that part of me that wants to have friends outside of the blood line.

This is a mistake that too many people make.  And I’ve seen some churches being even worse.  We go to church but we don’t really know those that gather there.  We are afraid  to even make friends because if they find out how much we have screwed up, they won’t want to be with us.

But now that my story is out there, this prequel, I hope that those who read this can understand what it is that everyone is searching for.  We all need a friend who has been there before.  God certainly is that, but we need to see him in the flesh.

Those of you who claim to follow Jesus.  That’s you.

Don’t be afraid of your past.  Be open to changing your ways and expect God to rip you apart.  To reform you into this new being called Christ.

I see my past in my friend, the husband I wrote of.  I want to help him become a new man, for his wife and kids and for God.   But I know that this can only be done by God if that is what HE wants.   I feel that this is what he wants.

Papa God, help me to overcome the past again and help you change a life.

Girl Scouts FTW!

I am so proud of my 9-year-old girl today, and I thank God,  my wife and the Girl Scouts for what happened this morning.

The story really begins back over the weekend.  We had gone to Camp Arrowhead near Stevenson, Washington for a Girl Scout Camp reunion that my wife was to help with.  I got to meet with a lot of great women who are self-sufficient and inter-connected.  Great conversations about God, life and what it means to be a dad of a Girl Scout.  Our three girls went with us too and I got to experience the Camp Arrowhead life for two day.

We came home on Sunday, tired but feeling real good.  Beth, the middle girl, had not felt well and spent most of Sunday feeling “yucky”,  she didn’t even eat the pizza we got.

The girls went to bed and slept.

This morning, I got up and went to work a usual.  I arrived at the school and dropped off the students.   I looked at my phone, to see what time it was and there was a message from my wife.  Since I was still on the clock, and we school bus drivers are not allowed to use cell phones while driving, I decided to wait until I got back to the yard to listen to the message.

As I was parking my bus from my morning run  my cell rang again.  The caller ID said “Home”,  so I picked it up, expecting to hear my wife’s voice saying that Beth was home sick and she was there.

To  my surprise it was my eldest daughter, 9-year-old Suzy.  This scared voice said, “Daddy, I’m here all alone.  I woke up and it was 9 o’clock and no one is here.”

I could hear the fear in her voice.  So I told her to just wait for me and I would be home soon.    I didn’t know HOW she found my cell phone number.  We don’t have it on a speed dial, and at the moment, I didn’t care, I wanted to make sure she was safe and find out what happened.

I parked the bus and forewent the morning cleaning and started up the hill to the bus dispatch while listening to the voice mail message that my wife had  left.

Turns out that Suzy would not wake up and my wife was going to take the other two girls to day care and come back and get Suzy up.  All well and good.

That was until she realized that she was locked out of the house.

Now this is a mistake that can happen to anyone, and I did get frustrated that things really didn’t go as planed for my family this morning.   Kathleen tried throwing pebbles at Suzy’s window,  she used her cell phone and tried calling in the house, but the phone’s ringer only goes twice, because we are monitoring calls, a whole other story for another time, and the wife was running out of options and time.  Kathleen called Suzy’s school to say she would be late, hoping that she would go to school on her own.   She left a message on the home answering machine, hoping Suzy would check that.

Suzy didn’t think to check the machine.

I called the wife and told her I was on my way home and would get her signed  into school.  This was the first time she had ever overslept and no one was home. I called back  to make sure Suzy was dressed and got something to eat and that I would be home in 10 minutes to take her to school.  The whole time I remained calm and collected, another first for me. I could hear the relief in Suzy’s  voice, knowing that someone was on the way to help her .

I wondered how she was able to call my cell.  On the way to school she told me.

“I found your number on the application for Boys & Girls Club.”

Something inside me cheered to high heaven.

My daughter was resourceful and didn’t give into her fear and panic, she thought this through. She was able to do this on her own, and still finding a way to ask for help.

We got to school, which she could have gone by herself, I took her to the office and showed her what to do if she was late again.  I told her that it was OK that she overslept,  and that I would help her get her alarm clock to work at bedtime tonight.

I told her how proud I was at how she didn’t panic, found my number and reassured her that she did the right thing.

I thank the teachings of the Girl Scouts for this, that God is so wise to make girls self reliant and  interdependent.  Most girls would have really freaked out and not know what to do, but she sought out a parent, in this case her father to get help.  As we all should do when we are fearful of what is happening.  I am amazed at what happened today.  Would I have done that at 9 years old?  I remember a time when I was left at school after a basketball practice and had to walk home because my parents for got to come get me.

I was self sufficient enough to know I could walk home.  I don’t remember if my parent’s praised me for getting home on my own safely.   But I know today that I needed to praise Suzy.

As she walked down the hall towards her classroom I quietly called her name, she turned and looked at me.  I said to her, “You did good, and I love you.”

Back came “I love you too, Dad”.  She smiled a smile that only girls have for their dads.  She quickly went to her classroom.

God has done something right with our family and what we have chosen for their development

Dads and Moms:  If you have young girls, the Girl Scouts are a great place to help develop your young ladies into being strong, interdependent and self-relent.   Too much of our world doesn’t know this.

Dads, just because it’s the Girl Scouts doesn’t mean “girls only”.  Get involved with the troops and the organization.  My girls seeing me go to Arrowhead this weekend showed them that I care what they care about.   You being there at a scout meeting would do wonders for their lives and your relationship with your wife.

Dads,  your children, either boys or girls want one thing and ONLY one thing from you:  YOU!    And it’s the greatest feeling to know that your children are learning to become like you.

I didn’t learn this from my parents, I learned it from the Girl Scouts.  I learned it from the God who is part of the Girl Scouts.

This is a big win for Girl Scouts!

Thanks Father for the Girl Scouts and how THEY have made me a better parent too.

Grow UP so God will quit laughing at US!

Oh man, the USA is such a wild place!

For the past few days, craziness over the President speaking to the nation’s children in school.  People saying they will keep kids out of school because they don’t want their children “indoctrinated” w President Obama’s  “agenda”.

Yet again I see and experience the fear that makes people not free.  Why are some parents so scared of the president.

To be truthful, I was never scared of President Bush the second.  I didn’t like his campaign to bring “democracy” to the middle east.   I didn’t like the fact that he claims to be a follower of Jesus, a Methodist Christian, but he was unwilling to forgive his enemies.  Namely the groups that want to “destroy America” as the warriors want to say.

I find it so funny that people were willing to give up their phone calls for the sake of security, but are unwilling to give up more money to provide basic health care for those that are on the bottom rung.

What I hear coming from God right now is laughter.  Laughter at our arrogance, our stupidity, and our bogus fear.

Jesus time and time again said Do Not Fear, but Fear you Father. (My paraphrase).  So why are we so messed up?  Why is God laughing so much AT his kids.

Because we are still growing  in a way.  Think about it.  The religion of  Christianity has been so distorted.  It only started 2,000 or so years ago, and it has evolved over the years due to cultural influence.   The religion changes over the years, groups split off, even back in the beginning  it did  that.  And I hear the echo of “the right and left” throughout the letters of Paul. Growing pains that continue today.  Because there are different views of what Jesus’ death on the cross means. But that is for another post.

I’m reading a book called “The Masks of Christ”.   More history that makes my faith in Jesus as being the way, truth and LIFE even  stronger.  But it’s because I dare to see Jesus from a different view than that of the stereotyped Christina Right or Left.

What we really need to do is live life!  How do you do that?  You don’t worry about anyone controlling your life.  I suggest too that every one take a deep breath and calm down.   Quit throwing those tantrums!

And for God sakes:    LIGHTEN UP!

Obama is not coming to steal your children or make them into a copy of him.  But wait, isn’t that what the “church” is supposed to do?  Make copies of Christ?  Making disciples?   “Indoctrinate”  our kids into being “nice little boys and girls”?

Can you hear God laughing at this craziness?  I can.

How would you feel if you heard God laughing at you  for your fear.   We are  so independent, including those that say they know God, because those that say they know Him,  we have forgotten him.   And he is laughing at that.

He’s laughing at me for so long believing in the lie that I am in control of my life.  He is my master and wants me to be the co-pilot.

So the ”circus” of politics no longer matters to me.  I have a ton of debt that I turned over to God.  He is showing me, through the rest of his creation, both that of nature and human, on how to get through this time of little money.

Some  days, I go back to trusting myself WITHOUT God, and then what happens?  I have lots of crap going on.  But WITH God in charge, the load is light, and the burden of debt is not so heavy.  It’s been incorporated into the life of God.

So who is your God?  I hate to tell this truth, but God is NOT in the Bible!  That is the story of God and how man related to him in the PAST!    How do you realate to him today?  Can you be like Jesus was with HIS Father, those of you who claim to follow Jesus?

The good news today is that YES YOU CAN!

It took me a long time to get to this belief.  Yes, it seems too good to be true, but God tends too be the opposite of what you THINK he is like.  For me, he has been laughing at how childish his grown up children are acting.

Grow up and and understand what it means to be an adult child of God.

Facebook/Twitter lite update

The past week, I’ve been experimenting with staying off the social networks.  Can you say “whale fail”?

I thank the Father that school starts next week, and I will have steady work this year.   I really hope that I am able to make the difference in the family’s lives and with my own this year.

I only wish I knew what the year would bring.

Anyways, I hope to be better at staying off the Internet, being more in touch with people in person.  The Internet is a drug, pure and simple.  Unlike “snail mail” which can have a personal touch, the Internet, to me, sometimes is so over-dramatic, and unloving.

Addictions to the computer screen and Internet  can be harmful.   Guess I need to do like my wife and I do with the three young-ens,  “30 minutes on the Internet, no more, no less.”

Back to School

Today I “bid” on my bus route from last year, and I got it back.  Still driving an 84 passenger school bus on the West side to Skyline Grade School.

If you drive out on Highway 30 in the Portland Oregon area, be aware that school starts back up on September 8th this year.  First Student, who contracts with Portland Public Schools will be having drivers go over their routes this week and then at their schedualed pick up times on Wed. September 2nd.

I’m very happy to be back on the same route because I put alot of time and effort with the kids, some will have gone on to high school, but these kids on this line need some consistancy.  The year before they had 5 different drivers.

Looking forward to tomorrow’s dry run, as it is called, and see what has changed over the summer.  See if I need to make adjustments to the route for the size of the bus.

So be on the look out for the school buses, some districs around the USA have already started for the year.  PLEEEEEESSSEEE  STOP WHEN THE RED LIGHTS ARE FLASHING!  I can’t tell you how unsafe YOU are being when you don’t.

Have a great school year.

I’ll get spiritual again soon.  I promise.

Finally I’m the…wait for it

Went camping this weekend with the wife’s side of the family and for the first time,  I came to realize something.  Thanks to my sister in law.

I was the youngest in my family, and these family camp outs that are on my wife’s side of the fam,  mine never did camping, and my in-laws are at the age where tent camping is now out for them.     They came each day, since we were only in Estacada , but when they left for the night….

I WAS THE OLDEST PERSON IN THE GROUP!!!!

My wife and all her siblings are younger than me.  So, here is some hope for all you “youngest in the family”.  You might just get to be the oldest.

Problem is now,  I wear out all my clothes so there are no hand me downs for the others.

Going Facebook and Twitter Light

Ok, I’m going to attempt an experiment :

yet again I find my addiction to Facebook, Twitter and other social Media to be NOT a wise choice in someways.

So starting today, I am going to only check my accounts once a day.  While camping this weekend there will be none.

I am grateful for the reconnect w/old high school chums, who most were girls BTW, and thanks for all your wisdom ladies.

I have chosen not to let the “fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil” to be thrown at me anymore.  And I am going to start a Christian Good Guy group on line to help those who are discovering that book.

But that is in the near future:  for now, I am going to go Internet light.

For those of you who want to contact me, I’m going to use that thing called “email”.

This is for my own sanity.  Over the next few weeks, I will post my progress here on my blog.  Of course I will put the link on the FB and Twitter, but I plan on being more active in getting to tweet ups and FB encounters in THE PHYSICAL  world.

Would That Be A Wise Choice?

I know who my friends are, and who would be my enemy.  Or at least I understand what is my enemy.

What does it mean to make a wise choice?   I read a book called “The Greatest Question Ever Asked.”  the question is:  Would that be a wise Choice?

I look back on my post about A Vision of the World and realize that it was a wise choice to post it, and that I do not need to apologize for it.

So judge me if you must.

But would that be wise?